Types of Singaporeans at the gym
Gymming has received a renewal of interest of late, perhaps thanks to the popularity of instagram. I believe the body to be the ultimate canvas and the gym the only place to sculpt your perfect body.
So is it a surprise that regular gym people and now seeing a slew of interesting, albeit strange, people in the gym nowadays? No. Dare I write about them despite knowing their muscles are the size of my head? Yes. Am I good with making good decisions? No.
1. The sex on a stick
They are not sexy – they are sex itself. You’d wonder how the hell did they manage to make their way to the gym without at least 6 guys / girl s/ a hybrid of both clinging onto their her ankles going “DEAR GOD MARRY ME PLEASE.”
They are the eye-candy at gyms and no matter what you’re doing, you’ll stop to gaze at their god-sculpted bodies. And suddenly, you’ll be able to deadlift 180kg. 200kg if she comes by a station near yours. Oh baby.
2. The “my father open one”
These are the folks who have 16 arms because they will take all 16 weights off the racks and refuse to share them because “I’m still doing a set sorry” and similar nonsense.
They are inconsiderate and they think only their gym membership pass is king and one can only secretly hope their father calls them soon to tell them that they, in fact, did not open this gym.
3. The “I come to the gym to socialise!”
These are the ones who talk non-stop at the gym. They talk about how their dog humped the table yesterday and all sorts of things you really don’t care about.
There is a time to lift and there is a time to speak. These are usually the people holding up the bench press or power rack because they just talk so much. And just when you’re about to get mad they talk to you and it becomes awkward because you can’t be mad at them anymore and now you’re partly responsible for holding up the queue.
4. The hard workers
These are the ones who don’t have a very nice body but are determined to work towards their goal. Maybe they were once upon a time small till they joined their Dragon Boat team in school and they now eat 20 eggs a day and hope to be a Commando in NS.
They are usually humble and can be seen putting their weights back quietly without bothering anyone. These are the ones to watch out for because their determination will knock them up to the category one guys one day so gym girls, start taking notice!
5. The old is gold
They are a rare sight in the gym. These older folks are usually above 40 years old, incredibly humble, friendly and likely to have just hit a mid-life crisis.
They will happily share their gym training methods methods if you ask them sincerely enough. And their 40 years of experience is not something you want to miss so listen up when they do.
6. The incredible hulk
This is the big guy who always smiles at everyone (even a glass on the beach), whether or not he knows them. He is very encouraging and mostly with fellow friendly hulks, and you’ll probably end up friends if you talk to him.
And this, my friends, is a great sight at the gym.
7. The Professors
These are the people who think they have a lot of knowledge. They like to correct others’ (often strangers’) mistakes at they spawn at random locations, so you’ll never see it coming.
Sometimes, they start teaching the bigger guys and all one can do is slow clap and show the dumb man respect.
8. The Flexer
These are the guys who are often flexing in front of the mirrors, admiring himself in full 360 view, turning and flexing.
If you’re sexy, believe me I don’t mind and you can come home with me and give me a private show. If if you’re not, please finish your self-love in the toilet.
9. The king kong
These are the people who die die must make a huge din when lifting. Huh what is being quiet huh what is being humble, can I shout and breathe loudly deliberately while being humble? No ah then I don’t want to be humble already.
There are the ones who are truly lifting heavy and all sounds, human or not, are forgiveable because you know its tough. But if you’re lifting small, don’t expect understanding. Expect the staff to come and go “sir, do you need any help?”
10. The Coach / Motivator
These guys can be identified by their incessant “you can do it, one more rep let’s go!”. These are the people who truly are dedicated to their friends’ and their progress and they inspire positivity wherever they go.
11. The facepalm hulk
These people assume the gym and everyone in it belongs to them just because they are huge. These are the kind of people you hope will topple over one day because their muscles are heavier than their brain.
12. The ones who truly try
This last category goes out to all of you slightly overweight and more human folks who are truly trying. There are the skinny guys trying to build up and there are people who want to be the best versions of themselves they can be.
This is admirable and we wish you all the best!
Know a type of Singaporean at the gym?
So there you have it, the 12 types of Singaporeans you’ll meet at the gym. Now I really need to go more often to go figure out the ones I missed, or if you could be so kind please let me know in the comments!