Holey Moley Golf Club in Singapore
Stereotypical image of a golf hobbyist: pudgy male, over 50, in old-fashioned polo tee tucked into high-waisted shorts a la Donald Trump. Not the most flattering. If you’re a young person like myself, you probably have this impression that golf is a yawn - and when you’re barely exerting yourself throughout the activity, is it even considered a real sport?
Now, naysayers, the answer to that isn’t important, because Holey Moley Golf Club - a new 2-storey mini-golf cocktail bar at Clarke Quay - is here to swing our presumptions right off the teeing ground. Hailing from Aussie, it’s basically putt-putt indoors - but on steroids with live DJs, over-the-top cocktails, and a labyrinth of 27 wacky themed holes to conquer. Prices are affordable too, from just $20 per session.
Themed courses at Holey Moley mini-golf bar
There's a stage that's GoT-inspired, with a throne fashioned out of golf clubs
A far cry from the grungy dark interiors of its nightlife neighbours, Holey Moley is vivid and well-lit - which makes it way less intimidating for golf noobs. There are 3 courses in total, each one with 9 holes to beat. It’s all about having fun here, so everything is pretty beginner-friendly, with helpful caddies to guide you along if you require assistance.
It’s not mere child’s play though, so don’t let the colourful facade of the set-ups fool you. To shake things up, every course has a couple of particularly challenging stations that require more time and precision. And for a greater challenge, you’re supposed to let yourself have a max of 6 attempts per hole, so give it your best shot!
Pop culture references are littered all over, with a good number of stations featuring recognisable elements from shows like The Simpsons, Flintstones, and ET (or as they affectionately call it, E. Tee).
Pick the course on the first floor, and you’ll get to finish off your last 3 holes on a hella trippy note - in a dark room illuminated by glow-in-the-dark decor.
First, make your checkmate move on a neon-splattered chessboard, then get transported back to the 80s with Pacman. Finally, end it off by manoeuvring the ball across a giant pretzel.
"Baby's got Pac"
There are locally-inspired stages specially for Singapore’s branch, such as one that looks like an upside-down hawker centre - complete with tissue packets for seat chope-ing - and another that resembles a Lego version of Marina Bay Sands.
Help...my bak chor mee...
MBS, with Godzilla instead of the Merlion
All the set-ups here are designed to double up as photo spots, so don’t be shy - whip out your camera and strike a pose! Or 10. It's a judge-free zone.
Look out for other photogenic areas within the sprawling grounds too, including a pair of neon angel wings against a cloud-painted wall, and a life-sized golf cart that you can actually climb into.
"Who's your caddy?" ;)
Fans of witty wordplay will greatly appreciate the punny fluorescent signages all around.
“Get ready to kick some putt”
All equipment will be provided, from balls to putters and even visors, so just show up with some friends and you’re all set to par-tee. As a fun-sized individual who struggles with pool cue sticks, I was pleased to find that Holey Moley's golf clubs come in different lengths - yay for such thoughtfulness.
Nope, not a gumball machine. You’ll be given a token to have your golf ball dispensed!
Fashionistas, fret not, you don’t have to dress like your grandpa to golf here. In fact, the staff told us that you can even play in heels, so come glammed up as you normally would at any other party spot!
The Caddyshack Bar
Crazy cocktails at Holey Moley Singapore
All that swingin’ around is going to make you thirs-tee. So head to The Caddyshack Bar, and say “cheers” to Holey Moley’s crazy cocktails that could put Black Tap’s milkshakes to shame.
“Ready to putt loose?”
For complete showiness, Fresh as a Birdie ($19) is a good bet. Served in a tall glass lined with Nerds candy, this is a concoction of Pampero White Rum, elderflower liqueur, and fresh watermelon and lime juice - adorned with a fruit kebab and watermelon slice.
If pink is your favourite colour, Candy Man ($19) will be the cocktail of your dreams. A twist on the margarita, it’s served with a puff of cotton candy and strawberry Pocky sticks. Beware of the sugar high that’ll follow: the drink contains blended jelly beans too!
Foreground (from left to right): Fresh as a Birdie, Sugar Caddy, and Candy Man
There’s also Sugar Caddy ($19), a fruity blend of peach schnapps, passionfruit, lime, and apple juice with Vodka. In a nod to our childhood days, this comes with a skewer of gummies and a packet of Pop Rocks.
While the cocktails are slightly pricier than what you might find at some bars, it was unanimous that they’re also stronger in alcohol content. Sizeable, too. I love how these OTT creations are palatably sweet without having a sickening syrupy taste.
Of course, there are regular drinks like Kaffir Lime Margaritas ($20) and Mai Tais ($21) for those who like their booze more “serious”. Draught beer, ciders, and wine are available too - it’s a tippling paradise!
Food at Holey Moley Singapore
In a place where food isn’t the main star of the show, you’d expect it to taste mediocre at best. But here, you can look forward to hearty Western grub that doesn’t compromise on taste or size.
We were wowed by the 1 Metre Mega Pizza ($55) for its sheer proportions - this gargantuan pizza can feed at least 5! Ours came in the cheekily-named Motherclucker ($21) flavour, with a topping of peri peri chicken, mozzarella, and capsicum. Other flavours include Beeferoni and Prawn To Be Wild.
Don’t worry, if you’re here on a first date and don’t want to unleash your inner food monster just yet, there are smaller 30cm Pizzas ($19-$23) which are good for sharing too.
We also recommend the Burgers, which come with coloured buns, alongside a side of fries and kimchi. The Hole In One ($25) was a winner among our meat-loving crew - with a tender beef patty, pulled beef brisket, cheddar, and smokey BBQ sauce.
Vegetarians can opt for The Green ($23) instead. While initially hesitant about mock meat in a burger, we ended up being pleasantly surprised by how tasty it was. Realistically mimicking the texture of chicken, this savoury patty has a strong hint of soy and is accompanied by Danish feta and crushed avocado. Mmm.
Comfy booth seats with artificial greenery draped above
If you’re here just for bar bites, try the Tater Tots ($11), fried to crispy perfection and topped with cheese and garlic aioli.
View their full menu here.
Game pricing at Holey Moley Golf Club
Inspired by Back to the Future
So, now that we’ve run through the course, here’s the big question: how much is the expected wallet damage?
Despite the common perception that golf is a game only for the wealthy, Holey Moley’s rates are reasonable, starting from just $20/person for a 9-hole session. Of course, the longer your session, the more value-for-money it’ll be; A 18-hole session costs $38/person, while a 27-hole one costs $50/person.
Special packages with drinks can also be booked for private functions. At $78/person, the Tee Off package includes 9 holes, golf ball and putter hire, a reserved function area, and the best part: 2 hours of free-flow draft beer, hour pour wines, and soda. Food can be added on for a fee.
Check out their full list of package prices here.
Holey Moley golf bar at Clarke Quay
My first and only encounter with mini-golf prior to this was during a dreaded PE module back in secondary school, and I’m glad to report that this experience at Holey Moley has since given me a newfound appreciation for the game. While I still don’t see golf as a sport per se, I’ve since realised that it’s not just a retiree’s activity; There can be so much more to it than putting ball to hole if you go to the right places.
If bars with games and even bowling lanes no longer cut it for your nightlife-hunting clique, try your hand at the club - the golf sort, ha ha - and have a ball of a time at Holey Moley. Pre-bookings are needed, so do make your plans in advance and contact them to secure your session.
Note: Children under 18 are allowed in with adult supervision, but only till 5pm
Address: 3B River Valley Road, Singapore 179024
Opening hours: TBC
Telephone: 800 492 2410
Nearest MRT station: Fort Canning
Photography by Pichan Cruz