Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire
Life itself is an ongoing drama. With all kinds of complications and unforeseen circumstances that can arise daily, I’m sure all of us has lied at least once in their lives. When the need arises, we simply transform into the most creative scriptwriters that make up ridiculous stories and… there we go again.
In this list, we’re going to talk about the common lies that Malaysians tell. Don’t be too surprised if they sound familiar, because they most definitely will.
1. On The Way
One thing about us Malaysians is that we’re not very punctual. It’s not something we pride ourselves in, but that’s just the fact. Of course we won’t be late for important things like job interviews, but if things like meeting up with friends or going to school, we won’t fuss over something as trivial as punctuality. So when we say we’re on the way, well, technically we are.
Case in point:
Friend: Oi, where are you? I waited half an hour already.
Waking up and getting ready counts, right? We haven’t left our houses yet, yeah, but we’re getting there. Sabar lah.
2. Arriving Late
And then when we do arrive, we’re late. What’s our excuse?
Just now jam until cannot move. Got accident.
3. Parties, Weddings, Basically Every Event
Speaking of arriving late, if we get an invitation for an event at 7pm, that itself is a lie. Malaysians would show up fashionably late, like an hour later, maybe two.
And then we would complain about the cold food, or lack of food.
But when we do make an effort to arrive on time, we like to drive a bit fast sometimes, even though we know that gets us into trouble.
Police: Why you drive so fast?
Malaysian: Is it fast? Sorry lah, I don’t know what is the speed limit here. *slips chocolate into police’s hand* Please let me off ok?
5. Open Houses
Festive seasons in Malaysia means lots of food, fireworks and open houses. Whether Hari Raya or Deepavali, whatever the festivity, you would surely be familiar with the question, “Got open house or not?”
Classic answers like, See first lah, I’m not sure but I will let you know, or I will definitely invite you if there is, usually means no. Sorry guys.
6. Playing Cards During Chinese New Year
During Chinese New Year, us Chinese would play cards as it is believed to be one of the luckiest times of the year. And well, sometimes we get carried away. Just sometimes though.
A: Last game ah.
B: Okay, okay, last game.
7. When Meeting An Old Friend
Friend A: Oi, why never contact me?
Friend B: Sorry lah, busy lah.
Friend A: We should meet up sometime!
Friend B: Yes, of course! I’ll call you.
8. When Meeting A Familiar Face
Rachel: Eh, Siti is that you?
Siti: Oh hi *who the heck is this person?*
Rachel: OMG it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other! (blah blah blah)
Siti: *oh I remember her, but what is her name?*
Rachel: We should exchange numbers so we can keep in contact.
Siti: Of course, of course. Um, what’s your name again?
Rachel: You don’t remember my name?
Siti: I mean your last name.
Rachel: Oh, it’s Tan. Rachel Tan.
Siti: Oh, right! I remember now.
9. When We Don’t Feel Like Going Out
We like to make excuses. The common ones are busy and no money. Works best when used together.
10. When Someone Cuts Your Queue
Sometimes certain Malaysians are lost and would randomly insert themselves into another person’s line.
A: Excuse me, this is my line.
B: Oh, really? Sorry I didn’t see.
11. When Getting In a Rated-18 Movie
At 17 years old we want to watch a rated-18 movie (a ghost movie lah, what are you thinking?) but we’re not old enough. Still, we want to try our luck. We dress up all maturely in hopes they won’t suspect. But then…
Big Fat Meanie: Excuse me, can you show me your IC?
17 year old who just wants to watch a scary movie:My IC? Oh… Um… I forgot to bring.
Big Fat Meanie:I’m sorry but I can’t let you in.
When we’re finally 18, we walk towards the cinema confidently, with our IC already in hand. Only this time, they don’t ask for it.
Of course not all of us Malaysians lie about the things listed above, just some of us naughty ones. Pretty serial liars out there, what are some of the overly used excuses you can’t live without?
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