The party don’t start till I walk in
You’ve probably seen them before, heard of them; heck, you might even have been one of them at your prime (that is assuming you are past the age where you should be clubbing). There are many characters you can meet when clubbing in Malaysia, and mostly, those characters are often male.
You may end up throwing back a few drinks with some of these types of men, or throwing fists at each other. Either way, it’s good to know the kind of men you will eventually meet when clubbing in Malaysia.
1. The Virgin
The virgin is one of the easiest to spot in a club as every group of partygoers will have one friend there who sure as hell looks like he doesn’t want to be there but was forced to by his friends. The virgin is usually the more socially awkward and silent type of character which would not make eye contact with anyone in fear of getting called out and getting his ass kicked in the process (reason why the virgin would think so is because of his loser friends who told him).
Of course, everyone has to lose their virginity when it comes to clubbing at one point; most cherry-popping nights always end up with the virgin being belligerently drunk, passed out in his own vomit while his friends take pictures and end up posting it all over social media.
Ahh, the wonders of technology.
2. The DD
Also known as the Designated Driver, this is the gentleman you will see nursing a glass of water or coke for the entire night, while trying to hide the pain from his face as he watches his friends have the time of their lives, partying the night away.
Although being the Designated Driver is considered the most noble of tasks when it comes to a night out with friends, it’s also mostly assigned to the lightweight of the group i.e. the weakest link.
So, if you ever come to the realization as to why everyone trusts you with their lives when they’re drunk, you now know why.
3. The Tank
Although your main goal is to be this character, chances are, you’re not willing to put your liver and your wallet through all that intensive training. Most groups of partygoers will always have one tank who will always be the last man standing (while he takes care of the rest with the DD).
Although some would aspire to have the alcohol tolerance of a tank, most would be glad they can make it through the night without flipping through their phones, trying to call their ex and beg them to take them back.
4. The No-Show
Not much can be said about this character as he is almost always never there, although he promised profusely that he wouldn’t bail on the group, like last time. Alas, we all know how the story goes from there.
5. The Baller
One of the more noticeable characters when clubbing, the Baller can normally be seen in a flamboyant shirt with an equally flamboyant personality with deep pockets to match. Normally surrounded by other Ballers and trophy girlfriends, their tables are filled with endless buckets of champagne bottles and sparklers, giving some much needed lighting to the club and making you reconsider going over and talking to that girl by the bar.
Not known for having an appetite for alcohol, the Baller normally does it for the attention of it all and in doing so, securing their titles as well as their egos.
One of the main attributes of a Baller includes wearing a nice and expensive watch to pour champagne over while taking a picture to post on Instagram and Snapchat for the whole world to see.
6. The Playboy
Not to be confused with the Fisherman, the Playboy is blessed with Godlike features while oozing charm, personality, and wit all around the club the moment he enters. You will see him with a different girl every night or sometimes a few girls in one night, depending on how drunk the girls may be.
The Playboy is most notably seen with the Baller as they both go hand-in-hand. The former would attract the pretty girls to their table while the endless supply of alcohol serves as a big incentive for them to stay and party.
7. The Fisherman
This particular specimen is hard to notice as most guys who go clubbing have one objective in mind: to bring a pretty girl home and give her the business. Although there are some who go clubbing with their partners, rest assured, their eyes are never loyal throughout the night.
The Fisherman can normally be found prowling around the dance floor and around the bar, hoping to find a potential catch that he can inevitably reel in with his corny one-liners and constant insistence of buying her (or him) more drinks.
The Fisherman can work solo or in a group with his wingmen busy hoarding off her friends while the main man goes in for the kill. Although this rarely ever works, it does see results from time to time, especially if the target is intoxicated enough and couldn’t be bothered with who’s hitting on her.
8. The Lightweight
Not to be confused with the Designated Driver, the Lightweight is a special class of character that will be yelling at anyone who will listen about how drunk he is and how he loves you guys just so, so much.
Although alcohol tolerance can be trained and built over time, it’s best to leave them to their own devices as no night is complete without a Lightweight friend proving to the entire club that he can still breakdance (even if you know for a fact he can’t).
9. The Socialite
A total opposite of the virgin, the socialite is well-prepared for a night out of drinking and socialising, able to build his network of connections for his future fortune 500 company that was destined for glory from the moment it launched.
He can be seen hopping around different tables throughout the night with the same drink in hand (because how can you be a social butterfly when you’re inebriated, right?), making friendly small talk with people he claimed to have partied with last week. The more daring of the socialites would be going around without a drink in hand, expecting his new-found friends to pour him a glass instead.
Outgoing and friendly, the socialite is one of the more better people you will get to meet when clubbing as their natural charm and affection will make you want to drink and party with them all night long.
10. The Blackout Drunk
The blackout drunk is one we love to make fun of, but secretly, hope and pray to God we don’t ever become one. You have probably seen the blackout drunk in person and it is not a pretty sight.
Although your friends would consider it a memorable night, the blackout drunk would not even be able to remember how he got home, let alone left the club in one piece.
Take extreme caution when approaching this character as they can either be extremely rash and volatile, or overly-clingy and affectionate to the point of exasperation.
Party in Malaysia
I’m sure you’ve met the likes of some of these personalities when out clubbing in Malaysia. Share your clubbing experience with us in the comments section below!
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