Ranking lunch conversations at work

If there’s one thing to look forward to whenever we clock in for our 9-5s, it’s lunchtime. Not only does it mean that you’ve only got the latter half of the day to tide through, but it’s also prime time to mingle with our colleagues as we dig into our meals.

Whether you’re an extrovert with the gift of the gab or a wallflower who’s just looking to kaypoh a bit, here are some of the most common lunch conversation topics floating around the workplace. We’ve even ranked them from the most “NPC” i.e the ones we mindlessly default to, to the best of the bunch that’ll leave you wishing lunchtime extended far beyond a measly hour.

1. What’s for lunch?

Image credit: Eatbook

After you’ve grappled with the eternal dilemma of what you’re going to have once the clock strikes 12, your fellow lunch-goers will probably ask what you’ve settled on. No, they’re not starving vultures looking for a piece of your spoils, they just don’t want to dine in uncomfortable silence, so cue the obligatory “What did you get for lunch?”

Bonding over food is a universal experience, so go ahead and entertain their question; perhaps you’ll score a new lunch buddy and won’t have to queue up in solitude anymore. Lamenting about how expensive grub is nowadays is a given, but we have an issue when everyone’s suddenly a self-proclaimed foodie.

You’ll catch unsolicited food recommendations too, like “Eh the chicken rice stall I always go to opposite nicer” or “My house nearby Nasi Lemak cheaper”. I’m sorry, but who asked? Just let me eat my frankly overpriced cai fan in peace.

Boringness: 10/10, only bust this one out if you really have nothing to talk about.
Conversational value: 1/10, bonus point for being a good one to ask if you need inspo on what to eat for lunch yourself.
Relatability: 10/10, unless you’re on an unhinged diet.

2. What did you do over the weekend?

Asking what your colleagues got up to over the weekend is another tried-and-tested amongst the uninspired folks around the lunch table. Expect this one on Mondays, but it does come with its merits. For one, you’ll get a glimpse into your workmates’ eventful lives outside of the office.

Image credit: MustShareNews

Who knows, Wei Jie from tech could be living his best life as a resident DJ at the hottest clubs on Saturday nights. Unlike HR’s Carmen, who spends the better part of her weekend braving the crowds at Woodlands Checkpoint, indulging in the best JB has to offer for the umpteenth time.

Boringness: 5/10, it’s a hit or miss depending on your colleague’s after hours alter ego.
Conversational value: 5/10, see above.
Relatability: 9/10. Homebodies shudder at the mere thought of venturing outdoors on weekends.

3. BTO already?

There’s nothing like the whiplash you get when asked if you’ve got any plans to BTO any time soon. While you’ve got colleagues who’ve got the rest of their life planned out alongside their soulmates, you have others who’re wondering what the heck the accursed acronym even stands for.

Of course, the soaring cost of BTOs will get an inevitable mention, and those who’re still by their lonesome selves long for the day when they can collect their keys with that special someone. Unless you want to make your single workmates question their future, best to avoid this one for now.

Boringness: 8/10, not particularly interesting, as with anything related to adulting.
Conversational value: 5/10, only great if you’re interested in actually BTO-ing; in that case, read our BTO guide instead.
Relatability: 0/10, if you prefer living in the moment.

4. Did you see what my SO surprised me with yesterday?

Possibly the most hated entry on this list, we all know a colleague who just can’t seem to keep their SO’s name out of their mouth. They’ll brag about their grandiose anniversary dinner last night, or how their partner surprised them with that new luxury bag.

Conversely, if they’re the kind to air dirty laundry, it could make for quite the intriguing chat. Strap yourself in for one hell of a rant once you hear the magic words “if he could, he would”.

But do steel yourself for the worst case scenario, and don’t be surprised if they bring a +1 to your lunches. Let’s just hope they’ve got the courtesy to turn the PDA down to a minimum, for your team’s stomachs’ sake.

Boringness: 10/10
Conversational value: 0/10, we’d be surprised if you managed to get a word in to steer the conversation away from their SO.
Relatability: 2/10, have some decency for those still not attached, please.

5. What unit were you from in NS?

Image credit: The Singapore Army via Facebook

In case you didn’t know, there’s an unspoken rule that states that if 2 Singaporean adult males converse, it’s only a matter of time before they start yapping about their NS experience. If you find yourself part of an NS-centric chat as someone who’s not had the chance to serve the 2 years, then you have our condolences.

In between cryptic acronyms, you’ll be met with a flurry of military lingo which makes no sense to civilians. What do you mean you had to “everything on” and “Charlie Mike” right after a 24 klick route march with “FBO”?

Give it a few years, and they’ll be musing about their week-long staycation away from work AKA reservist call-ups instead, which are even more mundane. A whole lot of rushing to wait and waiting to rush, something which resonates deeply with dudes all over the country.

Boringness: 5/10, statistically.
Conversational value: 5/10, statistically.
Relatability: 5/10, statistically.

6. How was your recent trip to XX?

When you’ve missed a couple days of work due to jetting off for holiday, prepare to be greeted with queries on how your trip went on your first day back to office. Should you be doing the asking instead, you might have already seen snippets of their overseas escapades through updates on social media.

Even if you’re not all caught up, it’s not difficult at all to take a stab at guessing which idyllic getaway they spent their ALs on. Our money is on either the crowd magnet that is Bali or Bangkok, while Johor Bahru or Kuala Lumpur are decent shouts if they’ve gone off for a shorter trip.

Boringness: 4/10, great if you’re sourcing for locations for an upcoming trip.
Conversational value: 7/10. Unless you haven’t had a chance to go on holiday in a hot minute, in which case it could get a little depressing.
Relatability: 6/10

6. Are you going for Taylor’s concert?

Image credit: @taylorswift via Instagram

Concerts have always been the talk of the town, just look at the chokehold Taylor had on us when she swung by earlier this year. For a good week leading up to The Eras Tour, chatter about the concert filled office pantries, drowning out everything else.

But, talking about who’s due to perform in the Little Red Dot is pretty good when it comes to sussing out fellow fans of artists you like at your workplace. Arranging to go to concerts together can mark the blossoming of a new friendship, and you might get to find out your tablemate is also a fan of that obscure band you thought no one else knew.

Boringness: 3/10
Conversational value: 8/10, you get to find out your colleagues’ exquisite taste in music.
Relatability: 9/10

8. Have you watched How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies?

Similar to our point on concerts, the latest movies and series on streaming sites like Netflix and Disney+ can also spur great lunchtime conversations. From Korean dramas and Marvel’s countless spin offs, to the box office’s hottest blockbusters, talking about what everyone’s binge watching is great for getting the ball rolling.

This topic is also teeming with banter, especially if you have wild takes on what’s on-screen. This writer remembers being ridiculed for expressing that Ben Affleck is Hollywood’s best portrayal of the Dark Knight, and you might get ostracised if you didn’t shed a single tear throughout the recent How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies.

Boringness: 3/10
Conversational value: 9/10, it’s easy to get people to talk about shows they like, go figure.
Relatability: 9/10, unless Andrew Garfield is your favourite Spiderman.

9. Wanna hear how my Hinge date went last night?

If you have a lovelorn colleague constantly on the prowl on dating apps, then count yourself lucky. You’ll most likely be given a front-seat retelling of how their dates went, and based on how comfortable they are with you, their stories might come with extraneous details too, from the raunchy to the outrageous.

Do ask them to supplement their tales with chat histories to paint a more vivid picture. Or better yet, egg them on for a visual reference of whom we’re dealing with, since a picture is worth a thousand words.

Boringness: 1/10
Conversational value: 8/10, bonus point if stories are supplemented with pictures
Relatability: 8/10

10. Did you hear about [insert nightmare colleague/client here]?

We’ve saved the best for last; surely nothing can trump a good’ ol sesh of spilling the tea. Call it toxic, but nothing dispels the post-lunch food coma better than sharing the murmurs making their rounds within the workplace.

Be it an honest whoopsie with a client or a teammate’s beef with another, we’re all ears, especially when we have nothing to do with the drama. This one also doubles as the perfect team bonding session that no amount of corporate cohesions can top, so feel free to have the newcomers sit in to break the ice instantly.

Boringness: 0/10
Conversational value: 9/10, just pray you’ve got no bad blood with anyone in the office.
Relatability: 10/10

Common lunchtime conversation topics

Lunch is probably the only time of the day that you’ll get to take your mind off work and interact with your colleagues before you clock out, so there’s really no wrong way of striking up a convo. At the end of the day, any topic’s better than none when it comes to keeping your lunchtime chats lively and interesting, so don’t be shy; the introverts in the team will thank you profusely.

For more humour-related reads, take a look at our list of the most common Singaporean boy names. If you’re bored on your daily commute, here are a couple of bad habits people need to stop doing on public transport, and those taking driving can have a chuckle at these funny road names in Singapore.

Cover image adapted from: The Singapore Army via Facebook