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You know the line-up for Zouk Out 2013.
You know who you are going with.
You know who you want to see.

Now the question is – how long can you survive before begging for a cab home?

ZOUKOUT 2013: METAMORPHOSIS
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ZOUKOUT 2013: METAMORPHOSIS

 

 

Here is your survival guide to Zouk Out 2013:

 

1. Bring your photo ID with cash along with it

 

b2ap3_thumbnail_zoukbikini.jpgPicture from Zouk Singapore

The ladies are probably going in a bikini. Here’s a tip for those not well-endowed – put your photo ID and cash into a little lanyard holder. Not only does it create the illusion of a cleavage (I feel sneaky sigh), but it also brings attention to it for the happier-endowed ones, whom by the way should just wear winter jackets and not make us poor girls sadder than we are.

The guys are probably going to be in shorts – keep cash where your photo ID is so hey, if the chick you’re picking up doesn’t dig you, flamboyantly flaunt your cash and walk away. Always make it hurt!

 

2. Beachwear always

 

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Why wear a shirt or anything else related to the beach? The beach isn’t air-conditioned – don’t be one of the sticky people who are going to walk around brushing past poor folks with their sweaty skin and whatnots.

Keep your clothes light and keep yourself happily cooled!

 

3. That said, bring towels if you’re the sweaty kind

 

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Need I say more?

 

4. Or a poncho

 

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I am quite extreme.

 

5. Do not go swim. Do not even go near water

 

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I think most intoxicated people cannot realize that when drunk or tipsy, walking already becomes difficulty level 10. So if you’re thinking of swimming, either think again or believe me, that is going to be your last thought.

Our body gets very heavy after drinking and if you are not in full control of yourself, you will stand in your own way of survival and honestly, nobody wants that to happen. So no swimming and steer clear unless you’re Michael Phelps.

And if you are Phelps, please call me I am reachable on my twitter and instagram.

 

6. No pets/ laser pointers/ videography allowed

 

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I was a little surprised at the laser pointer part. But the other two isn’t going to work out with instagram’s new video function. I foresee many drunk/ tipsy instagram videos this year.

 

7. Lastly, bring sunnies for those waiting for the sunrise

 

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If you’ve reached this stage, congratulations you have survived.

I personally think with that much alcohol, I’ll probably pass out midway at a nice place or in my girl friend’s lap. But still, it would be nice to wake up to the sun blinding me prettily.

So there you have it, your unofficial guide to surviving Zouk Out 2013! I think I will end up barely taking half of my own advice but hey, if I can’t save myself, I may as well save another.

Have fun guys and I will see you there 🙂