Categories: Culture

25 Signs Singaporean Blood Flows Through Your Veins

25 Signs You’re Singaporean

Even if you don’t keep up with local media anymore, you know Singapore’s seen some big changes since the dawn of the 21st century. From Singlish to the indomitable traffic summon aunties and uncles, we Singaporeans share a rich cultural memory.

But with the influx of foreigners to our land, it’s hard to say who is truly Singaporean nowadays. So here’s the litmus test. We’ve decided to come up with a bunch of experiences you could identify with – if you’ve grown up here as a Singaporean.

Let’s see how many you pass!

1. You know what this picture is referring to

Maids are indispensable to us, to the economy, and now the army.

2. You’ve been through haze-induced ‘curfews’

You’ve decided to stock up on “N95” masks so opportunists don’t rip you off during the next haze attack.

3. You have an extensive knowledge of local beverages

Infographic by Vanessa Poh.

You know what to order when you go to a Singapore coffee stall.

4. You know Jack Neo = Liang Xi Mei and Liang Po Po

You went through the Jack Neo evolution. From actor to host to prima donna drag queen to newpaper scandal to the superstar director he is today.

5. You know Hello Kitty mania is very real

6. You use Tissue paper as your lunchtime weapon

7. You know Gum is a problem

You see foreigners chewing gum and for some inexplicable reason it makes you highly uncomfortable.

8. You know the coffee-shop isn’t just for coffee

The kopitiam is totally a legit institution. Look at all the food options!

9. You’ve eaten “economic rice”. And it cost less than $3.

Meanwhile, in Norway…

[95NOK = approx. 20SGD]

10. You dedicate a month to celebrating ghosts

Every year, there’s a time when the gates of hell open and your mum tells you to be home by midnight. She constantly chides you for stepping on burnt incense paper by the roadside.

11. Your childhood essays were made up of the same characters

And they were named Xiao Ming, Xiao Hua, Muthu, Samy, Ahmad…how busy and suay they must be. Don’t forget poor Mr Rajoo.

12. You know saying ‘I twist!’ in catch is the ultimate free pass

13. You have boring, monotonous dates

Most of your paktor adventures look like this: movie, dinner, jalan jalan in Orchard Road, supper, go home.

14. But now upgraded to stay-cations already

Ok ok, just so we don’t get an angry dude commenting again, here are 11 signs to find out of your Singaporean girlfriend is a keeper.

15. You have a car that costs more than a place to live

16. You know people who can buy said cars that skimp on parking coupons

17. The summon aunty is your Public Enemy No. 1.

The masses have even organised a revolution, with an online movement dedicated to helping each other avoid her.

18. You go to the kopitiam to watch football matches

EPL, FA Cup, and other UNMISSABLE soccer-related news only take place at 3am, so Singaporean men without cable subscriptions must congregate at ungodly hours.

19. You hear Angmoh-accented MRT announcements.

You find it absurd that the lady over at the SMRT pronounces Sembawang, Mountbatten and Buangkok in that pretentious uppity voice. This is how you, as a Singaporean, should remember your MRT stations.

No love for Joo Koon, sorry.

20. You use Singlish

You’re immensely proud of this rojak of languages we call Singlish. How else to go undercover in war time leh? For a more comprehensive list of Singaporean slang, go here.

21. You remember the traffic marshal at the crossing between Marriott Hotel and Far East Plaza

He scares you to no end with his annoyingly loud but very effective whistle.

22. ‘Are you a Passion Card Member?’ is both familiar and annoying

Supermarket cashiers are more concerned if you’re a ‘member’ than how your day went. Welcome to Singapore.

23. You love McDonald’s curry sauce

You can’t have McDonald’s fries and nuggets without curry sauce. You also felt like God was punishing you when McDonald’s started to charge customers for curry sauce.