After deciding my daughter will be the only precious I would ever have, I made it a point to have strong relationship with her. I was so stressed during my first week with her. My only two activities were trying to pump milk and eat all sorts of stuff that claims to have an effect on milk flow. Finally, I gave up after seeing how my daughter suffer from the low milk supply. Not being able to breastfeed her was a huge blow to me but her health is more important than what I want. I tried to be with her all the time and kept telling her how much I love her.

As she grows older, I got over that not being able to breastfeed my child does not stand in my way of building a strong relationship with her. Spending time and doing things she loves with her is more important than just being a food source. My daughter loves massages and some books says touch is an important love language when you both cannot understand each other. 

Over doting can create issues such as my daughter knew she can get away with her naughty acts when she smiles and hugs me. Yes, at 1 year old she is already a manipulative child. I want her to love us but not a spoiled child. My hubby and I then hurt our brains trying to come up with ways to introduce rules and good manners to her.

I used to know respect as a one-way traffic, always respect your elders. Little did I know that showing respect to your child has tremendous effect on your relationship. My hubby is old school father, like to talk firmly and show frustration when she is throwing tantrums. Though I do not have a nice temper, motivated by my desire to have a strong relationship with her, I speak to her like an adult and treated her with a lot of respect. I carry out my promises to her and uses words like “please”, “thank you” and even “sorry”. Her reaction to my request to stop crying and her Dad’s firm talking is very different, one ends with a pout and the other ends with “shadow-less” kicks.