Funny Crimewatch scenes

One of the best things to grace our TV screens besides Phua Chu Kang and Under One Roof is Crimewatch – a local series based on real-life criminal cases in Singapore. The show first rolled out in 1986 and has been covering cases ranging from scams to murder ever since. 

Now, its entertainment value is mainly due to all the meme-worthy scenes that have made their way to platforms like TikTok. If you’ve been following the series or just need some catching up, here’s a round-up of some of the most iconic scenes from Crimewatch.

1. 1998, E10 – “The woman was too stunned to speak”

You might have seen this meme circulating social media in 2021 when the scene became a global sensation. People were soon quoting “The woman was too stunned to speak” all over the internet to express shock.

This line dates back to episode 10 of the show’s 1998 season. The scene depicted a lady strolling when a passing man snatched her gold necklace. Body frozen with shock, she was truly too stunned to speak – as were we when we found out the audio was going viral on TikTok. 

Watch Crimewatch 1998 E10 On MeWatch.

2. 2013, E3 – “You’re nothing but a prostitute”

Another scene that made its rounds on social media is the “4pm at Pioneer Mall” episode from 2013. Things went from 0 to 100 real quick when a small quarrel between the main characters turned into a heated gang fight, birthing 2 iconic quotes in the process. 

I can still hear “We settle tomorrow, 4pm at Pioneer Mall” in my ears.
Image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp

The fight came about when Vicky rudely turned down Kai’s request to watch a movie together. Offended, Kai insulted Vicky and her boyfriend, whipping out the infamous “You’re nothing but a prostitute” quote. Vicky then lashed out with her own 10/10 line, asking to “settle” at Pioneer Mall the next day.

Moral of the story? Don’t reject your friends the next time they jio you to watch a movie.

Watch Crimewatch 2013 E3 On YouTube.

3. 2016, E10 – “Melvin is no name for a gang member”

When this scene went viral, all the Melvins in Singapore could no longer sleep peacefully. They were ridiculed and stripped of their dreams of joining a gang. Why? Because Meowvin Melvin was no name for a gang member.

Mood.
Image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp

This scene came from an episode of Crimewatch where a boy named Melvin wanted to join a gang. The leader, Xiong, inspected the boy with an intense gaze before shooting down his name and giving him the new pseudonym “Xiao Hu”, meaning little tiger.

Watch Crimewatch 2016 E10 On YouTube.

4. 2017, E9 – The umbrella robber

In Singapore where the punishment for possessing a weapon is severe, one man improvised, adapted, and overcame by using an umbrella in a robbery attempt. First, he used the umbrella to shield his face from CCTVs before pointing it at the tenants he was robbing. 

He even swiftly hooked one of them by the neck with the curved handle of his trusty weapon. Pretty resourceful, we gotta say. Jokes aside, his “robbery” attempt was, fortunately, an epic fail and he was charged with house trespass and attempted robbery. 

Watch Crimewatch 2017 E9 On YouTube.

5. 2016, E3 – The curry powder robbers

Contrary to the episode titled “Curry Powder Robbery”, no curry powder was stolen. Instead, it was used as a means of blinding the victim. Ah, just when you thought using an umbrella was extra. 

After their plan didn’t work, the perpetrators went to an eating house where the man who threw the curry powder was in anguish over how his “special attack” didn’t work. He was quickly shut down by his boss who yelled, “you’re useless!”, giving us an unforgettable scene we wish we could forget.

Image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp

An honourable mention is the victim’s willpower and sheer strength for holding onto his bag of money till the very end. MVP coming in clutch for real.

Watch Crimewatch 2016 E3 On YouTube.

6. 2017, E4 – Serial molester & fashion terrorist

Image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp

In this episode of Crimewatch, a man committed one of the biggest crimes against the state: terrorism – specifically fashion terrorism. Donning fugly white spectacles and a bright red bag, he went about on a molesting spree on public transport – the actual crime he got prosecuted for.

The “4pm at Pioneer Mall” actress also makes a cameo here.
Image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp

In the episode, the molester tried to cop a feel of 2 women separately on a bus. When suspicions grew, he quickly alighted at the next stop. But of course, not before “stumbling and falling” such that his hands conveniently landed on her thigh. He really thought he did something.

Even viewers agreed he should be locked up for his fashion sense.
Image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp

Watch Crimewatch 2017 E4 On YouTube.

7. 2018, E4 – “You see 4 people chasing you, you’ll also run, right?”

After a signature Crimewatch chase scene, the police brought gangster Jeron back to his flat for further investigation. He insisted that the police had caught the wrong person, only to be questioned about why he ran from them if he wasn’t the one. 

To that, he replied, “You see 4 people chasing you, you’ll also run, right?” This left the officers too stunned to speak, before the video cut to another scene.

Image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp

Besides an Oscar-worthy performance from Jeron the gangster, the lead investigator had his share of highlights too. 

While interrogating one of the suspects’ girlfriends, he shared some relationship advice to let her know she deserved better, saying, “Your boyfriend knows that you’re being questioned by the police, but he hasn’t messaged to ask whether you’re ok. Is that how a boyfriend should act?” Damn, you right fam.

The girl shook her head and lowered her defences, allowing the policeman to extract the information she had initially kept hidden.

Watch Crimewatch 2018 E4 On YouTube.

8. 2016, E3 – Police officer extra holding her laughter

Her struggle is more apparent during close-ups.
Image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp

When filming a serious video with friends, some of us might crack up midway. An extra in an episode on adulterated liquor from the 2012 season of Crimewatch seemed to be struggling similarly. 

In some shots, the female police officer is seen smiling as if she was holding in her laughter. We feel you, girl. We would be laughing if we were to star in an episode of Crimewatch too.

Other highlights of this episode include a 70-year-old old man remarking, “this drink no kick lah!” after downing glasses of liquor that turned out to be fake. Uncle pls.

Watch Crimewatch 2016 E3 On YouTube.

9. 2014, E2 – Varon Chee Bai Ling & friends

We’ve all seen our fair share of comical names, from “Batman Bin Suparman” to “Ben Dover”. Someone on the Crimewatch crew decided to slip in a few jokes of their own in this 2014 episode, where there’s a shot of a list of names procured by an Ah Long.

See what other sneaky names you can spot.
Image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp

One might glaze over it for how quick the shot is, but if you pause, you’ll find a treasure trove of punny names. Such names include “Isnin Bin Selasa” – meaning Monday Bin Tuesday – and “Danish Bin Swedish” – a play on a pretty common Malay name, Danish.

One that most of us would get right away is “Varon Chee Bai Ling” – we won’t say but IYKYK.

Watch Crimewatch 2014 E2 On YouTube.

10. 2021 E10 – Boby Tricep & Boy Zacq

It’s common for gangsters to use fake names to hide their real identities. Episode 10 of the 2021 season of Crimewatch featured the case of a riot that broke out between some gang members with some interesting names. 

During their investigation, the police uncovered the pseudonyms of the members involved. Names like “Boby Tricep” and “Boy Zacq” – yes, with a ‘q’ – were thrown around during the video in a serious tone, making the whole ordeal funnier than it needed to be. 

A bonus name spotted is “Ang Jikao” which is slang used when ordering a Guinness Stout. Damn, beer got hands.

Watch Crimewatch 2021 E10 On Youtube.

Low crime doesn’t mean no crime

Some might say our local content isn’t that great, but honestly, Crimewatch is slaying the game. Ironically, the awkward acting and cringey scenes only make the show more popular, even reaching international folks thanks to online memes. See, TikTok is good for something. 

To binge on more iconic moments, you can watch full episodes on Mediacorp’s YouTube channel or on MeWatch, which features Chinese, Malay, and Tamil dubs of the show if you’d like to get in touch with your Mother Tongue. 

And with that, we have come to the end of this article. If you have any feedback, do drop us an email. Until the next article, this is TSL Nur Hidaya, signing off.

For more local humour:

• Top headache-inducing sounds in Singapore
• Ranking PM Lee’s shirts
• Funny Singaporean IG accounts
• Sports if Singapore invented the Olympics

Cover image adapted from: Entertainment – Mediacorp, Entertainment – Mediacorp
Originally published on 16th March 2024.