Humour

Ultimate Ranking Of Household Pests In Singapore, From “Eeee” To “Wtfwtfwtf”

House pests in Singapore


Being a tropical paradise, our island is no stranger to interesting wildlife. Just take a look at our resident hornbills, favourite community kitties, and … giant moths? Lizards? C-cockroaches?! Alas. The territory of house pests of Singapore.

Well folks, buckle up because here are the worst ones. Except giant moths, because some of us (re: me) are way too scared to even talk about them.

Disclaimer: Spiders will not be a part of this slander because the author of this article is an arachnid stan. Just use your imagination if you think they deserve a spot on this list. You monster.


12. Black ants


Black ants are mildly annoying, but that’s about it. They don’t bite (I think), nor do they cause too much damage unless you’ve left some food out. 


Image credit: The Pest Experts

All they are are a bunch of hardworking buddies trying to make an honest living. Why do they say hi to each other when they meet? How do they carry things 10 times their weight? Icons, honestly.


11. Red ants



Image credit: Premier Termite & Pest Control

OK – I might be unsure of the biting capabilities of black ants, but I know for a fact that red ants bite. That alone warrants them being worse than black ants. Also, some of them are massive. Not iconic!


10. Lizards



The common house gecko can actually help get rid of other pests like roaches, so don’t be so quick to judge them.
Image credit: Times Property

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think lizards are that bad. They aren’t as incessant as ants, but they do leave their poop everywhere which is … fun. That, and more people seem to fear them.

If you’re in the “I h8 lizards” pool, then these ways to get rid of lizards will come in handy.


9. Plaster bagworm



Get your lizard poop-lookin’ ass off my wall rn.
Image credit: Trapline Pest

We’ve all probably seen these tiny sleeping bags crawling on our walls, inching their smug wormy bodies around our homes. They are none other than plaster bagworms, which are a species of moth. These buggers can feed on anything from carpets to cobwebs, which they use to form the “cocoon” they nest in.

I’m screaming, crying, throwing up.


8. Silverfish



EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Image credit: MagicBricks

What’s small, likes to live amongst our old barang-barang, and is absolutely DIS-GOS-TANG? Silverfish.

Despite their name, silverfish aren’t fish, but some sort of gross wingless insect. Y’know what, I don’t even wanna talk about them anymore. Next!


7. Flies



If God is a woman then the Devil is a fly.
Image credit: McCarthy Pest Control

If this was a list of the most annoying pests of all time, flies would be #1. But I’ll give it to them. Knowing how to fly into a room and not understand the concept of flying out the same way takes some sort of talent.


6. Baby cockroaches



Image credit: McCall Service

POV: You’re taking a poop. Scrolling on TikTok. Having the time of your life. But then you see something in the corner of your eye. Your skin starts to crawl. Your blood is rushing.

A baby cockroach. Worst time to be on the porcelain throne. 

They are so very small, yet so very scary. And that can only mean one thing:


5. Cockroaches


What’s worse than a baby cockroach?


Image credit: Terminix

An adult cockroach.

The fact that they can go on surviving while being headless has us shaking in our slippers (which is the best weapon, tbh).


4. Flying cockroaches


WHY ARE THEY FLYING?

WHY. ARE. THEY. FLYING?!?!?!?!


3. Mosquitoes



Enough!!! Stop biting me and get a life!!
Image credit: National Park Service

Mosquitoes are literally the world’s deadliest animal. Except they aren’t animals. 

These b****es are war criminals, bringing us terror in the form of viruses like dengue, Zika, malaria, and chikungunya (wtf). 

That said, here’s a shout-out to the Wolbachia mozzies in our neighbourhood that help us fight those dengue-spreading Aedes mosquitoes. Y’all are the real Gs. Don’t forget to check out these common household mosquito breeding grounds and mistakes that cause mosquito breeding to make sure you aren’t sabo-ing yourself.


2. Termites


So you’ve just moved into your dream Japandi-style BTO with BB. Your home is chio enough to be featured on Uchify.com. But the wood. Oh the wood. Who loves wood more than damn termites?!


Termites are attracted to moist wood, so make sure you don’t have threats like leaks in your home.
Image credit: Connecticut Pest Elimination 

These pests are the true definition of small but mighty. Teamwork makes the dream work with these guys. Imagine collapsing an entire roof with your homies! We could never.


1. Bed bugs



Image credit: The Spruce

Bed bugs aren’t so much scary as they are a big freaking inconvenience. But, they’re big enough to secure the top spot in this article. If you find bed bugs in your home, GG and good luck. You might as well just move out, because it’s their house now.

If you’re unsure if you’ve gotten bit by a bed bug, check out our guide to common insect bites.


Worst house pests to see at home

If you’re reading this, congratulations. Our stomachs defo turned getting through this article, but we’ve made it. And if you’re worried about facing these creepy crawlies on your own, here are some pest control hacks and cleaning tips to get rid of pests once and for all.

Give yourself a break with these non-horrifying rankings:


Cover image adapted from: Trapline Pest, McCarthy Pest Control, MagicBricks, Times Property

Ra Krishnan

I like chicken nuggets, cheap air tickets, and long walks to the kopitiam. 

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