Strengths-Based Childhood

I grew up thinking I am never good enough, partly because of my strengths and partly due to how Singapore government likes to measure everything and everyone. I cannot think of a time when I do not get measured or compared to in Singapore. They even measure you to determine when you should start paying for your train rides and movies.

A child’s development is determined by genes of the parents and the environment he is nurtured in. Being a Strengths Coach, I decided to give my child a strengths-based childhood based on Gallup’s Strengths philosophy. The strengths of the parents can affect what your child turns into. A competitive and activator Mum like myself if do not consciously give space for the child to grow at her own pace, can stress the child into a low self-esteemed person or overly dependent on others. My hubby who has harmony and developer in his top five strengths can help the child to play nice with others and has the patience to teach the child and let her develop at her own pace. So being aware of your own strengths and using it to help your child develop can avoid creating another mini-you which personally I prefer to have a better “me”.

How to give a strengths-based childhood? Give them space to explore and observe. You can discover their preferences whether its music, gym, science, etc. Knowing what they like you can encourage them to explore more about the area. Communicate to them in the way they prefer. For example, my daughter does not respond well to threat and loud talking, so I will just hold her when she is upset till she calm down then tell her what I want her to learn about. Distracting her seems to encourage her tantrums so I quit following the books’ advice. Every child is unique so only you as parent can spend time to learn about them.

After they have reach their teenage years, you probably would know you have groomed an achiever, competitor, relator, etc. Key is never try to tell them to be better in what they do not like. For example, my daughter loves to interact with strangers and that is high woo strength that I observed. I will not restraint her from talking to strangers but let her be aware of the possible harm and how to protect herself.