The passage of time leaves no one behind – but ageing should be a journey that is celebrated, not dreaded. It may come with challenges but with the right approach, there’s still much to look forward to in our silver years.
One natural aspect of ageing is the possibility of needing extra support and care, which can come in many forms. Here’s how Wai Meng decided to embark on the path of assisted care living with his mum as of 4 years ago, and what that has done for the family since.
It started with small things that Auntie Chue, Wai Meng’s mum, would forget – as is prone to happen with age.
Then, her husband passed away, and her condition deteriorated rapidly. Within a few months, she was no longer able to independently leave the home, as she would not be able to find her way back.
There is currently no cure for dementia, with its decline of neurological functioning including memory, language, and other cognitive abilities integral to our daily lives. For Auntie Chue, this fast-tracked decline was heartbreakingly difficult for family members to manage.
As working adults, Wai Meng and his sister, Jacqueline, were unable to care for their mum full-time at home. They initially put their mum into a daycare home that specialised in handling patients with dementia – so they could rest assured that she was in good hands.
However, Auntie Chue’s condition started to deteriorate. Soon, the daycare centre, which was already under-resourced, informed Wai Meng and Jacqueline that they were unable to support her needs. Some days, Wai Meng would even get calls while at work to bring his mother home.
Things got worse as Auntie Chue lost her ability to retain short-term memories; she also developed sundown syndrome, where she’d get highly agitated and distressed each day as evening set in.
No longer did Auntie Chue remember that she was in her 70s – she was again a young child with an elder brother she hated and younger brother she loved. She’d look at her son, Wai Meng, and vacillate between seeing her brothers’ faces instead of his.
Wai Meng and Jacqueline decided to look into sending Auntie Chue to a hospice or home for the elderly, in hopes that she could get better care that way.
What they found was sobering. Daycare, which they’d tried, couldn’t handle their mum. Hospices too often struggled with a low patient-to-caregiver ratio, so there was little chance that Auntie Chue would get the level of care she needed.
They were at their wits’ end when they chanced upon Red Crowns Senior Living (RCSL), which operates apartments located in either public or private housing estates.
What sets them apart is the co-living arrangement that allows seniors to live together, fostering an all-important sense of community and giving them endless opportunities for social interaction. Residents will also have live-in caregivers, granting added peace of mind as well as a stronger feeling of familiarity and trust.
“None of the options we’d tried worked – would RCSL be any different?” Wai Meng shared about their initial scepticism when they first signed their mum up.
24/7 care & a home away from home for Auntie Chue
But that scepticism soon faded. RCSL managed to find a flat for Auntie Chue just 5 minutes away from Wai Meng’s home. This was a big perk, as it meant he could easily drop by to visit her – the next best thing short of living together.
There were 2 caregivers to look after the 4 elderly residents in the flat, including his mum, at any one time. The caregivers work shifts, so there’s round-the-clock care for Auntie Chue and her housemates.
Even though the caregivers are routinely rotated, Wai Meng was heartened to find that they were all able to connect with his mum and navigate her moods. The familiarity that she felt towards this small community of caregivers led her to settle in with ease.
Neither was Auntie Chue confined to the bed in spite of her condition, which could have been the case if she was staying in hospice care. Her daily routine now includes going for walks, and if she feels up for it, playing games with her housemates, and craft-making.
Seeing Auntie Chue’s improved quality of life was heartening for Wai Meng, to say the least. Especially after they had already gone through various options, such as daycare and employing live-in helpers, which did not prove to be suitable for his mum.
“I found it incredible that the staff at RCSL were able to get through to her and gain her acceptance. They know how to calm her down whenever she gets into one of her moods, though they occasionally video call me as a last resort when she wants to see her ‘younger brother’,” says Wai Meng.
“They even know what food their wards like and dislike, and would tweak the daily menus to accommodate them all,” he adds.
Beyond the calls, the family also gets daily updates of Auntie Chue via photos and texts, so they never lose that connection with her.
Wai Meng’s problem is not an isolated case – with 1 in 4 Singaporeans slated to be aged above 65 by the year 2030, living in an ageing society is a reality that we all have to accept.
Growing old, however, shouldn’t be tinged with the grim sense of resignation that life is over. With the right support, seniors – even those with certain conditions like Auntie Chue – are able to live their later years with dignity and joy.
Thanks to DBS Foundation’s support, RCSL has been able to keep providing these living and care arrangements for the elderly, enabling them to age-in-place and continue being a part of the community. RCSL was a 2022 recipient of the DBS Foundation Grant programme, which supports businesses that create a positive impact in society.
Beyond supporting innovative social enterprises like RCSL, DBS Foundation also drives various community programmes to uplift vulnerable segments, including seniors. These include partnering the IMDA in 2022 to drive digital inclusion in Singapore – they jointly held 680 digital literacy workshops in two years, helping over 150,000 people, majority of whom were seniors, to learn about digital banking, anti-scam tips and more. On 4th August 2025, DBS Foundation and IMDA renewed this commitment by announcing a new three-year partnership, which will include a new Gen AI curriculum and the rollout of 1000 workshops.
With ageing societies becoming an increasingly pressing concern in many parts of the world, DBS Foundation continues to ramp up efforts to redefine ageing and shape a future where everyone – regardless of their stage of life or circumstances – is empowered to age well.
In conjunction with SG60, the Foundation launched a $7.3m Nutrition and Social Connections programme earlier this year, which will support 6,000 vulnerable seniors over 2 years by tackling issues of social isolation and poor nutrition. As part of this programme, the seniors receive twice-weekly nutritious meals, monthly bonding and enrichment activities, as well as quarterly supermarket shopping trips, among other things.
Just as it takes a village to bring up a child, it also takes a village to ensure that we – and our loved ones – can all age with dignity, purpose and joy. And there’s no shame in seeking external support when needed, as Wai Meng and his sister have done, so that they can continue providing for their mum and families to their best ability.
For those in similar circumstances, Wai Meng shares that “Putting [our] mother into RCSL, or even considering daycare and hospice care, doesn’t mean that we aren’t filial, or love her any less”.
We asked Wai Meng if he thought Auntie Chue was happier since she moved into the RCSL flat. “Without a doubt,” he tells us with a smile, “her quality of life has vastly improved, and I’m sure she’s happy. Even though she might not remember who I am anymore.”
This post was brought to you by DBS Foundation.
Photography by Jaslyn Tan.
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