Oh, Singapore – the island of lush green and stately architecture; of a thriving food scene and buzzing nightlife; of adrenaline-inciting activities and tranquil vibes… And of empty bank accounts and a ruthless cost of living. From food to transport to entertainment, everything comes with such an hefty price tag. Excuse me, you think my father print money ah?
Here are 30 reasons why Singapore is the most expensive city to live in.
Less than $2 for your morning dose of kopi to wake you up from your nightmare, only to realise that you never went to sleep? Sorry, but the only thing that’s kosong is my wallet.
The last thing you need on a hot and humid day is a cup of bubble tea for $1.20.
$3 for that plate of chicken rice or char kuey teow? I guess I’ll just stick to eating my feelings.
Most definitely not the free lunch at the Singapore Buddhist Lodge.
Nor the free samples at food basements and food fairs.
Fishball noodles for $2.70, yet people are still complaining it’s too cheap? Ridiculous.
Thing is, nobody even likes their indulgent Chocolate Fudge Brownie or Cookie Dough ice cream. Ew.
Nobody can afford $1.50 for entry to public gyms and swimming pools. Furthermore, you’re already getting enough exercise running away from reality and swimming in your tears.
$100 of credit for free with the ActiveSG app? No deal to be found here.
“My stack of bills are THIS high.” Source
Free taichi sessions in the park? Thanks but no thanks – I’ve got enough taijis (problems) with the sky-high cost of living in Singapore.
Who in the right mind would splurge on free entry to all our museums?
Even the exhibits look fed-up with life.
We’ll just have to make do with free entry to the wildlife reserves on our birthdays then. Either that or I’ll just do what I normally do on my birthdays then – stay home and cry.
No birthday treats. No free donuts at Krispy Kreme, no free pretzels at Auntie Anne’s, no free drink at Starbucks… The gift of life in Singapore is the worst present ever. I can’t even refund it for store credit.
You’ll have no luck at Theatres by the Bay at the Esplanade either. What free performances?
$11.90 to see the doctor? You’ll have to first sell your kidneys to actually treat your kidneys.
Will these free N95 masks also mask the fact that you’re dead inside? #thankyouindonesiafor11monthsofcleanair
Nobody needs free air-conditioning in malls when the world is already such a cold, harsh place.
Take advantage of the discounted fares for transfers, but bear in mind: no train gets you out of this hell that is life.
Literally trying to rob us at the first sign of daylight – take the MRT to town before 7.45am for free. Ugh. You can even get paid for taking the MRT. URGH!
A day trip to Johor Bahru for $2? How much for the bus to simply run over me instead?
Thanks for the free charging points in MRT stations to charge your devices, except I don’t have any use for my phone – my life is so sad, I wouldn’t text me back either.
Nobody wants wi-fi that enjoys greater connectivity than you ever had with your dead inner self. Especially when it’s free.
Nobody can afford a haircut at Snip Avenue from $3.50. Not that it matters, since all our hair will fall out from stress in no time.
$2 haircuts for army boys to qualify for 24 months of free cookhouse food? Still too expensive.
Is it too much to ask for some colour in your dark life? Apparently so. No free nail polish samples to be found at Sephora. Moving on.
$2 for a massage at massage chair stations in shopping malls? The only thing they’re rubbing is salt in my wound.
10% off house-brand food items with Fairprice’s Big Value Bag deals? More like “Big Deal, Value Bag”.
No Great Singapore Sale. No End-Of-Season sales. No mega sales in a certain exhibition hall in the East. None. Those are just bedtime stories.
Daiso, in particular, is the worst. Everything costs at least $2 too much.
I’m looking at you, Singapore Really Really Free Market.
Okay, seriously, Singapore is not an expensive place to live in. And if you’re auntie enough like us, it’s possible to indulge in a myriad entertainment choices without having to dig deep into your pockets. By making smarter decisions, you’ll find you’ll always have savings left at the end of every month! Even some home brands were found to be comparable to premium brands in our recent blind taste test!
There’s always a choice in everything you do. You just have to plan properly!
This article was brought to you by the Labour Movement.
Quality doesn’t always have to come with a hefty price tag.
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You spin my head right round, right round.
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Let's get dem gainz.