No matter how many companies we’ve worked in, there’s always one thing about the office that’s perpetual – the rojak mix of colleagues. Some co-workers transcend into ‘best friends’ status, others spiral into mortal enemies, spicing up the job with juicy drama.
For those annoying colleague-nemies, advice often goes unheeded, so effective communication means one thing: sarcasm. In your next gift exchange, troll them with weird gifts so passive-aggressive, your insides will scream from laughing silently as they scratch their heads in confusion. Here are the best you can get for under $6.70:
At least it’s not China Wine.
Get it here for $3.90.
To encourage that #fitspo colleague to dabao his breakfast from home every day.
Get it here for $6.42.
You know how in movies, the day is saved when a unicorn gallops majestically into the field of battle? Yeah that’s not happening with the colleague you’re giving this to. What does a unicorn mask truly represent? Is it a commentary on the mythical properties of said colleague? Or is this colleague simply rarely seen in the office?
Only you know for sure.
Get it here for $6.30.
She’s that perpetually single colleague. She needs a friend. Someone strong. Someone with a stable personality. Someone rooted and able to give solid advice. Someone sturdy and doesn’t get swayed by words. She needs a USB Pet Rock.
Just as lovable as a puppy
Or you could give her some pebbles. More friends for her! (Don’t be fooled by the USB – it does nothing).
Get it here for 7.99. Or find it along the road on your way home. Remember to give it a name like Steve.
This is for all the times you’ve wanted to throw a brick at Dave from HR for getting the simplest facts wrong. Again. Thankfully, now you’ll be able to do so without getting fired for causing damage to company property. Let the bricks fly!
Get it here for $4.78.
We’re not sure if this is a troll post, but if not, we hope the seller keeps restocking her supply.
In any case, you can’t go wrong with Thai food.
Get it here for $1.50.
Perfect for the colleague who’s always looking for a charging cable for his iPhone.
Get it here for $3.
Because buying games as gifts highlights your fun personality. But no, don’t get him newer games like Overwatch or No Man’s Sky – those are too mainstream. Give him something basic. Like Tetris. Or Pong.
Get it here for $2.75.
You know that colleague of yours who changes her mind so often and abandons her projects even before she gets them started? She has cold feet.
The Shoe-brella’s not available anywhere right now, but something as simple as this can be crafted at home under 15 minutes using cocktail umbrellas. Take a bunch of them, tape them together, then glue it to the tip of a shoe. Ta-dah! Made with tender loving care.
You can find cocktail umbrellas at the party section of any supermarket in your neighbourhood.
Your #fitspo colleague might need help on his cheat day. Show him how to still have a six-pack even after his upsized nuggets meal.
The ab-hancer unfortunately doesn’t exist because it was found out to be an internet hoax, but there’s always an alternative: wire mesh. It won’t give him six packs, but 100 small pecs. Even better.
You can find wire meshes at the party section of any supermarket in your neighbourhood for about $2.
When being patient no longer works, it’s time to move onto passive-aggressive pranks. Go ahead! $6.70 is all you need.
If that feels like too much to spend on annoying colleagues, you might be right. Might as well save that same amount for your retirement – it’s easier to stay sane and power through working life now when you know your end goal doesn’t involve your irritating colleagues.
Antics aside, you can start planning for your desired end goal from $6.70 a day with Income’s FlexRetire plan, which provides you with monthly payouts and insurance coverage. Unlike other rigid savings plan, you have the flexibility to choose your retirement age, the duration to receive monthly income thereafter, and other benefits*.
*Policy Terms & Conditions apply.
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