Having seen Sydney’s gorgeously yummylicious versions of Canberra’s extreme milkshakes, it’s only natural that we Melburnians burn with jealousy. We feel you, really. It’s hard not to drool looking at those Instagram photos. So we embarked on a journey to find the best, most delicious and mouthwatering shakes that will make our Sydney and Canberra counterparts drool with envy.
Melbourne’s milkshakes may not be as virtually shocking as Sydney’s and Canberra’s, but we guarantee you they are just as yummy, unique and Instagram worthy!
At a glance Soda Rock Diner looks like your typical American diner experience except that is not, thanks to its outstanding milkshakes of course. They may not look like much, but let’s face it the best things in life are not always pretty. Soda Rock Diner Thickshakes and Malts are available in variety of flavours – from the traditional Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry to Banana, Lime and Cappuccino; and they come with three scoops of extra creamy Vanilla Ice Cream. We love having their Banana Thickshakes along with the Hot Chilli Fries. So yumm.
With some real retro ambience of the 50s and 60s, Soda Rock completes your American diner experience with frequent matching entertainment. Staff would often break into song and show off amazing dance moves around the diner – just our kind of surprise. It’s difficult to not enjoy the meal and leave the diner without a smile afterwards. We didn’t mean to ruin it for you but hey, now you are Snapchat-ready right?
Price Range: $30 for 2 people
Address: 257 Toorak Rd, South Yarra VIC 3141, Australia
Opening Hours: 10am to 10pm
We not only love it for celebrating retro pop culture, we also love the fact that they serve one of the best burgers in town. Their burgers kickass big time and whoever comes up with their milkshake formula is a genius. Their milkshakes might not be visually striking but they are just as phenomenal and wallet-friendly. American hipster done right.
Strawberry Cheesecake Shake is my personal favourite but their Salted Caramel has got Melbourne at its fingertips. And if you are a chocolate fan, look out for their special Chocolate Bar Milkshakes too. They’ve done Mint Aero, Mars, Snickers and Kit Kat. Any guesses what will they come up with next?
We love having our shakes with the classic 8Bit Cheese Burger, Chilli Cheese Fries, and a yummy soft serve.
Price Range: $30 for 2 people
Address: 8 Droop St, Footscray VIC 3011
Opening Hours: 11am to 11pm
Bacon is amazing. We have not encountered a single soul who has tasted one and wish to attest against that. Then again we have not heard of Maple Bacon Milkshake till recently. We must admit we don’t know what to say and feel about it when we first heard. All we know was we were unconvinced and petrified because on its own it’s crazy delicious and we don’t want anything to ruin our love for bacon. Ever.
Though sceptical, the hype about got us investigating and Grand Trailer Park had us completely lost for words. They’ve got all sorts of milkshakes that will rock your world with options of spiked and unspiked, in simple terms with or without alcohol. The Makers Mark Bourbon, Salted Caramel and Maple glazed Bacon are subtly blended, they blow our minds!
If you are looking for something less sweet, try the Kinder, Frangelico, Baileys and Nutella Milkshake. It also makes a good alternative for chocolate lovers. Of course these shakes are best served the good old way with classic American burgers. But if you are in the mood for something sweet instead, get their Bananarama or Waffle Stack for a treat.
Price Range: $30 for 2 people
Address: 8 Droop St, Footscray VIC 3011
Opening Hours: 11am to 11pm
Misty’s Diner is clearly the place to go if you are after dirty, ridiculously over-sized and delicious American meals. It is also the place to go if you are looking for sinfully good Reece’s Pieces Shake and quality time with the gang. We strongly recommend challenging your mates (and yourself even) to try their Jalapeno Poppers.
The colourful, lively and vibrant diner is known for their 1.2kg Burger Challenge. For $35 you get a chance to smash 3 hamburger buns, 5 beef patties, 5 slices of cheese, 5 slices of bacon served with smokey BBQ sauce and mayonnaise, and a choice of ½ serve Chilli Fries, Taco Fries or Wet Fries under 14 minutes 04 seconds. Remember, it always seems impossible till it’s done. If all else fails, head down to the wall-of-fame and salute the faces that made it there. Now that you’re well informed, go have a good time with your mates.
Price Range: $60 for 2 people
Address: 103 High St, Prahran VIC 3181
Opening Hours: 11am to 10pm
Sit tight Melbourne here comes the extreme milkshake you asked for! Joining the monster milkshakes trend, Johnny Pump recreates Canberra’s most celebrated Freak Shakes with a twist. Far from dirty, these dessert freak shakes, come in a variety of flavours – Nutella and Chocolate Fudge Brownies, Blue Heaven and Lemon Tart, Caramel Popcorn and Oreo, and Strawberry and Banana Bread.
We aren’t one bit surprised when we hear the Nutella and Chocolate Fudge Brownies Shake has received the most love so far. Everybody loves Nutella. But that’s about to change because the best thing is that they are still coming up with plenty other flavours. Like Banana and Waffle Syrup, and Gluten-free Lamington and Chocolate Chip that are coming our way. We are so looking forward to having them around!
Not only they are visually striking and appealing, they are extremely and exquisitely yummy. What more is that they are also wallet-friendly! The Freak Shakes are available for as little as $7 each. We don’t know what we did to deserve these delightful goodies. Though the food prices are on the steep side, Johnny Pump is definitely a hidden gem in Essendon.
Price Range: $40 for 2 people
Address: 87 Fletcher St, Essendon VIC 3040
Opening Hours: Mon – Tue Closed, Wed – Sat 8.30am to 9pm, Sun 8.30am to 4pm
They are normal looking shakes, may be too normal to be in this list. But don’t let their appearance fool you. We guarantee first timers would sign up to the BOY fan club after trying their Hansel and Gretel, Black and White, and Nutella (yet again). Or shake it like no one is watching with BOY’s Bananarama and go banana with the fries.
The joint may not be as funky as 8bit or American as other diners, but it is hipster enough. We’d hang, chill and shake at the yard over delicious fries and shakes any day. Simplicity is the best policy.
Price Range: $40 for 2 people
Address: 3144, 224 Glenferrie Rd, Malvern VIC 3144
Opening Hours: Sun – Tue 11.30am to 5.30pm, Wed – Sat 11.30am to 9pm
As the name suggest, Stokers Fine Pancakes is famous for its exotic sweet pancakes and Pancake Chips. Stokers figured out a way to serve its loyal patrons with Nutella Pancakes in a glass. Yes, you read it right – in a glass. Using its signature Pancake Chips drizzled in Nutella goodness, the brilliances at Stokers combine the best of both worlds (a sinful one at that) and have possibly invented the best Nutella milkshake ever!
We love the different textures and crunchiness the Pancake Chips add to the shake, and the sweetness is just right. We still can’t get our minds around it. It is also the perfect place to chat and catch up with friends and loved ones. The cute setting, raw-timber bar and live music night from 7 PM to 10 PM give the café a cosy, comfy and relaxing vibe. It’s always a good time at Stokers.
Price Range: $45 for 2 people
Address: 231 Clarendon St, South Melbourne VIC 3205
Opening Hours: Mon 9.30am to 3pm, Tue – Fri 9.30am to 3pm & 6pm to 12 midnight, Sat – Sun 8am to 4pm & 6pm to 12 midnight
Koffee Bar is another place to head to for your share of dirty extreme milkshakes. We’ve lost countless sleeps over their glamorously captivating Mr. PB because honestly guys, who can ever refuse the heavenly combination of good old Chocolate and Peanut Butter milkshake?
We are also currently obsessed with Koffee Bar’s Incredible Hulk. Topped with its signature peppermint fudge bar, this green monster shake is an explosion of chocolate mint that lives up to his name. For more conventional options, you can try the Blonde Bomshell Vanilla Shake and Mudslide Monser Shake.
Price Range: $40 for 2 people
Address: 1055 Burwood Hwy, Ferntree Gully VIC 3156
Opening Hours: Mon – Fri 7am to 4pm, Sat – Sun 8am to 2.30pm
Muharam Café’s latest Donutella Milkshake addition is Melbourne’s current obsessesion, literally. We are pretty sure you have seen them somewhere (hint: Instagram). They look, and of course taste, as gorgeous as the photo, and the Nutella Donut on top? It completes the shake without adding on too much sweetness.
We know it’s sinful and it is a meal on its own and what not, but it’s definitely one of our favourites. If hitting the gym for the next couple of days is what it takes to enjoy every single drop then so be it. But remember guys; the entire city is flooding the rustic café solely for it. Come in early or risk going home empty handed. While you’re at it, order their delicious Red Velvet Pancakes, choose to sit at the cosy courtyard and enjoy Melbourne’s beautiful weather.
We are definitely coming back for more! Only this time, we’re taking the mini versions just to feel less guilty.
Price Range: $30 for 2 people
Address: 97 Burwood Road, Hawthorn VIC 3122
Opening Hours: Mon – Fri 7.30am to 4pm, Sat & Sun 8am to 3.30pm
Known for its foot-long hot dogs, fries and shakes, Massive Wieners’ shakes are the epitome of conventional milkshakes. They are nothing fancy or extraordinarily unique but their delicious Strawberry shake sure knows the way to our hearts. It will help relieve the intense 25” hot dog challenge the joint is famous for. Nope, not speaking from experience there.
Price Range: $25 for 2 people
Address: 97 Burwood Road, Hawthorn VIC 3122
Opening Hours: Mon – Fri 7.30am to 4pm, Sat & Sun 8am to 3.30pm
All in all, Canberra and Sydney can stun the world all they want with their extreme milkshakes because envy is not in Melbourne’s dictionary. We may beat the city once in a while for not having that stunning range of freak shakes yet but we are always impressed with its sinfully original delights. And we are totally cool if Melbourne doesn’t follow suit any time soon (or at all, actually) because honestly guys we’ve got enough temptations to fight off.
Get ready for some wicked whimsy.
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