Now that the festive dust has settled, we’re in a rather pensive mood about the annual tradition of celebrating Chinese New Year in Singapore. At the risk of sounding clichéd, we’ve grown up and in the blink of an eye, the vibes surrounding CNY just don’t hit the same as when we were kids.
Bouncing from one household to the next to collect angbaos and feast on snacks was a carefree occasion. But celebrating CNY as grownups involves the nitty gritty of planning, navigating sensitive familial relationships, bracing oneself for harsh questions from prying relatives, and the ultimate adulting milestone – having to dole out angbaos yourself.
Of course, it’s not all doom and gloom. Through our reflections, we also discovered a sense of appreciation for CNY through a different lens. Here are some ways we feel that celebrating CNY feels different as adults, shared by 2 millennials:
Renae Cheng, 30
There are many rules and traditions when it comes to a guide on CNY angbaos. For folks in my generation, you either continue your merry non-angbao-giving ways till you’re officially hitched, or you start giving them out when you hit a certain age. The latter is for those who don’t want to kena criticise for collecting free money as a grown man/woman simply because they’re unwed.
I’m all smiles here but my bank account is crying.
Image credit: Renae Cheng
Fortunately – or unfortunately – for me, this stopped being an issue for me last year, because I got hitched. Now, the new worry is the severity of financial damage that giving out angbaos is going to deal to my husband and I. It doesn’t help that his family is huge, with what seems like entire kampungs worth of juniors swarming us at each bai nian stop.
Financial blows aside, I spent the past few years being quite salty about this impending milestone, dreading having to give angbaos to kids who may be bratty and impolite. Not only are they taking my hard-earned dollars, kids these days seem to have forgotten the tradition of offering New Year’s greetings in exchange for the angbaos.
After all, the angbaos are seen as a token of appreciation in return for the well wishes you bestow upon your seniors. To my shock and horror, I’ve heard of bratty kids not even making eye contact with their relatives, and just snatching the angbao out of their hands with nary a “thanks” under their breath.
Image credit: @thesmartlocalsg via Instagram
What shifted my mindset on this dread of giving out angbaos – especially to kids whom I felt didn’t “deserve” it – was actually a comment left on a TikTok echoing my sentiments. A sagely netizen pointed out that being able to hang out angbaos denotes a place of privilege, symbolising your position and capability to share your abundance.
The angbao signifies blessings for the new year ahead, and the focus should be on the ability to even share this with your loved ones in the first place. This changed my perspective, and I realised that, first off, I should stop being such a scrooge. And more importantly, that I needed the reminder of what celebrating CNY is all about – spreading blessings and abundance.
As an introvert, the thought of congregating with hordes of relatives every year is my personal nightmare. Having to plaster a giant smile on your face, meet and greet throngs of people you may or may not remember how to address, and be on standby to tackle borderline insensitive questions about everything from your weight to your singlehood – not exactly a fun time.
Shiver me timbers…Nary a peaceful corner for an overwhelmed introvert to seek refuge in.
Image credit: OpenAI
After last year’s cross-country bai nian tour which left me so drained I had to hole up in my room to recharge and recover, I low-key resolved to flee the country for this year’s CNY period. It made it all the more enticing that the 2-day CNY PH falls on Wednesday and Thursday this year. This paves the way for one of the greatest public holidays in 2025, essentially bagging you a whopping 5-day long weekend as long as you book 1 day of AL on Friday.
The urge to hop on a flight and say adios to all the CNY chaos is so real.
Alas, I couldn’t bring myself to book that trip aboard because it felt like I was turning my back on all those traditions. And because it’s been so long since I last saw my relatives face to face, I didn’t have the heart to drop this once-a-year opportunity.
It’s February now, and I’m happy to report that I survived the CNY shenanigans once again! It always feels more dreadful than it is, but I end up being glad that I stuck through it But for anyone who feels that they have to, or even just prefer to treat themselves to a holiday, you do you, boo.
Prioritise what’s best for your well-being, and don’t feel obliged to “show face” for the sake of it
We should really just normalise having the freedom to choose how we want to spend our CNY PH! After all, would your parents like for you to show up at the bai nian houses just to sulk in a corner and scroll TikTok for hours? Didn’t think so.
Leah Tan, 29
While I’d love to be at the carefree age of 3 for all of eternity, the harsh reality is that my big 3-0s are creeping right up. Yikes. That would also mean almost 30 years of CNY gatherings.
A timeline of Chinese New Year gatherings as we age: At 10, have a blast exploring every corner of the nearby HDB playground. At 20, conversations revolve around “got boyfriend?”. Around 30, CNY becomes the only time of the year we actually see our relatives. Without realising it, thrilling playground escapades got replaced by year after year of ban luck to pass the time.
Call me Negative Nancy, but there’s no denying that CNY gatherings become less anticipated.
Maybe it’s the fact that our grandparents – who used to be the family super glue – are no longer around. Or perhaps, it’s because our parents – who, by now had hard carried the CNY cooking and planning for decades – are now older and weary.
For sure, Chinese New Year is different now, but is it worse? Or am I making an unfair comparison by comparing back to the days when we were blissful kids, and all it took was pineapple tarts to delight?
According to a random Google quote: “Remembrance of things in the past is not necessarily the remembrance of things the way they were.” So, are we just romanticising nostalgia? Maybe.
This year, my relatives went “🤙🤙🤙”. By that, I mean they cancelled the annual family reunion dinner, plus skipped CNY to go on a trip. No hard feelings from me, though it’s evident that my parents were kinda disappointed. And by “disappointed”, I mean they were pissed awf.
Some love gatherings while others dread it. My take is, festive gatherings with your loved ones are more important than they might seem. After all, even if you lose everything, you’ll still have your friends and family by your side.
So here’s a hot take: sometimes, traditions feel like they don’t matter because we’re not contributing enough. Don’t raise your pitchforks yet! I’ll explain. Now that we’re all grown up, it’s up to us to be the next generation that takes over the planning, invites people over, and puts food on the table.
I didn’t expect the sense of satisfaction after organising CNY gatherings with friends for the first time this year. It was a simple affair – Grabfood, board games, and playing with babies. But nonetheless, there’s the feeling of togetherness and bonding that no other random lunch date can replace.
Now, us millennials have reached the stage where we’re now responsible for upholding the CNY traditions. If we choose to make it a priority, it certainly would be meaningful.
At the end of the day, Chinese New Year is a time for gathering and indulging in absurd amounts of bakkwa. Is it always as fun as when we were kids? Maybe not. The angbao rush does get replaced by financial damage and reunions become more like social marathons than fun and games.
But we could just be looking at it through the wrong lens. Whether it’s taking the initiative to jio everyone for a meal or just making an effort to be present instead of scrolling through TikTok in a corner, the CNY spark is something we can all try to reignite ourselves.
That being said, if you feel jaded about CNY, you’re not alone. A lot of us feel that its not the same anymore and that’s okay. Whether you’re embracing the festivities or low-key dreaming of a quiet getaway, what matters most is celebrating it in a way that feels right for you.
For more cultural perspectives:
Cover image adapted from: Renae Cheng
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