Crazy Rich Asians: Every Character Ranked, From “Never Good Enough” To Glorious, Glorious

9 minutes reading time (1748 words)

Crazy Rich Asians characters, ranked  

 

Images adapted from: Warner Brothers 

Everyone has an opinion on Crazy Rich Asians, leading to a crazy opening weekend to the dolla-ringing strains of over $28.8 million in 3 days. And we’d say half that credit - besides the lush backdrop of our island Singapore - belongs to the all-star cast. 

Plucked everywhere from the US to the UK to Singapore, this all-Asian cast has bucketfuls of charm and really sold Kevin’s Kwan extravagant premise of the crazy rich. But just like how there are tiers of wealth from New Money flashiness to Old Money snootiness, we also have tiers of our fave characters.

Some we love to hate, some we love to look at, and some well, barely registered on the big screen.

So, with every minor character out of the equation, and no spoiler characters (*cough* end credits), here’s our ranking of the cast - from most loved to just not-good-enough:

 

1.  Goh Peik Lin played by Awkwafina

 

 Crazy rich asians peik lin awkwafina

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Her chicken-explaining wisdom, the raspy voice and the part where she acts paiseh like the rest of us when invited to the Youngs’ party. We’d also raid her wardrobe in an instant, like that red rabbit top and striped pants that scream quirky. 

What we didn’t: We wished she had a meatier role to play than just wisecracking sidekick. Would totally buy a ticket to rom-com “Awkwafina’s Diary”.

 

2. Goh Wye Mun played by Ken Jeong

 

 Crazy rich asians ken jeong goh wye mun

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: The papa with the mostest, Ken Jeong’s character was a comedic show stealer that made fun of stereotypical Chinese accents and the cringe-worthy matchmaking that Asian parents do. 

What we didn’t: If I had a dollar every time someone said, “Hey, that’s the guy from Hangover!” I’ll be buying at least 50 Tyersall Parks. Just like his daughter Peik Lin, the man couldn’t break out of his crazy-funny persona established since his Hangover days. 

 

3. Eleanor Young played by Michelle Yeoh

 

 Crazy rich asians eleanor young michelle yeoh

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: We have to say good things about Eleanor because we’re afraid she’d give us that disapproving head shake. But besides her on-point kebayas, what we love about Eleanor is how she humanised the evil mother-in-law trope, and made family over everything seem almost reasonable. 

What we didn’t: We respect Michelle Yeoh but there’re only so many death stares we can take in a film. Also, she caved after Rachel pulled out the “Your son will resent you” card over mahjong?! I could have told you that from the start and not 1 hour 45 minutes into the movie.

 

4. Astrid Leong played by Gemma Chan

 

 Crazy rich asians astrid gemma chan

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Astrid is GORGEOUS. She’s that “It” girl who guys love and girls want to be, and you can’t even hate her because she’s so damn nice (See: doing charity and encouraging kids).

What we didn’t: Admit it, part of Astrid’s charm lies in her posh accent and fab wardrobe. Take that away, and you’d realise Gemma’s acting is a little wooden (she was a robot in ABC drama “Humans”, after all). That walk away from Michael scene could have been a powerful, “you-go-girl” moment but ended up a little flat. 

 

5. Rachel Chu played by Constance Wu

 

 Crazy rich asians contance wu rachel chu

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Our heroine has plenty of spunk, thanks to Constance Wu who was a riot in “Fresh Off The Boat”. We love how relatable she is - keeping her worries to herself after the confrontation with Eleanor and also a peek of smitten vulnerability when being with Nick. Yet, homegirl brought the house down in that iconic mahjong scene

What we didn’t: So Rachel was an NYU Economics professor, and she was described in the book as “funny”. Maybe we are splitting hairs here, but some jokes like “Bak Bak B****” came off as rather forced. We didn’t get to see much of her intelligence, either, save a short discussion with Princess Intan and some nifty mahjong skills. 

 

6. Nick Young played by Henry Golding 

 

 Crazy rich asians henry golding nick young

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Prince Charming is down-to-earth and has an accent and body to die for (thank you, topless scene as he unveils the engagement ring). We love that he obviously cares for Rachel and chases after her Cinderella-style when opposed by the matriarchs of his imposing family. 

What we didn’t: Bruh, you need to tell your girlfriend you’re rich with a capital R. Sure, you might see yourself as “comfortable” but transparency in relationships is key. You are also a little too perfect, which can err on the side of boring.

 

7. Oliver T’sien played by Nico Santos

 

 Crazy rich asians nico santos oliver tsien

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Every film needs a sassy fashionable dude who tells it like it is. And we got our man in Oliver, the self-professed “rainbow sheep” who contributed to the joyful montage of Rachel being dressed to impress. 

What we didn’t: Oliver was a little too one-dimensional. He might be fabulous, but ain’t nobody remembering his story of infiltrating the Young ranks - unless you read the books, that is. 

 

8. Bernard Tai played by Jimmy O. Yang

 

 Crazy rich asians bernard tao jimmy o yong

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: O Jimmy, thank you for making “Ku Ku Jiao” a rallying cry and anthem for Singaporeans on the international stage. We also dig your cutting edge uniform of gold chains and Hawaiian shirts. 

What we didn’t: As entertaining as Bernard was, you have to admit he’s kind of a douchebag. Who shoots bazookas, organises container ship parties with bikini models and makes a dig at the groom for being henpecked. Not cool man, not cool. 

 

9. Kitty Pong played by Fiona Xie

 

 Crazy rich asians kitty pong fiona xie

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Ok, we admit, we just loved to see the “Little Genie” of Mediacorp grow up to become this equally breathy but oh-so-blatant sexpot/gold digger. Even in small doses, Kitty is fun to watch. 

What we didn’t: Kitty has not an ounce of tact or love in her. Once Oliver told her Alistair had a poor return of investment, she immediately sunk her gold digging claws into Bernard instead. 

 

10. Neena Goh played by Koh Chieng Mum

 

 Crazy rich asians koh chieng mun neena

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Dolly Neena, the mother of Peik Lin, is that “auntie” figure many Singaporeans know and love. Except this auntie’s house has probably more gold than in your entire bank. At least she is still the proud champion of Singlish, which is a +100 points in our eyes. 

What we didn’t: She didn’t exert much of a presence and was a caricature compared to all the other “Mum” characters. 

 

11. Araminta Lee played by Sonoya Mizuno

 

 Crazy rich asians wedding araminta lee

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Two words. Gold jumpsuit. Other than the admirable ability to walk on water in thigh high boots, we can’t help but like Araminta for her welcoming personality and talent for throwing dope bachelorette parties - minus the dead fish threat, of course. 

What we didn’t: Her taste in friends. 

 

12. Colin Khoo played by Chris Pang 

 

 Crazy rich asians colin khoo chris pang

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Nick Young’s BFF is just a regular dude, but one who is rolling’ in the dough. We loved his bromance with Nick and that heart-to-heart talk on the raft that proved you can be in touch with your feelings and manly at the same time. 

What we didn’t: Sorry, Colin, you’re a nice chap but kinda forgettable. 

 

13. Kerry Chu played by Tan Kheng Hua

 

 Crazy rich asians kerry chu tan kheng hua

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: We loved her intriguing past where she brought Rachel over to the States and raised her on her own. Props for being a strong independent woman, and for being a starting point for future sequel plot lines (Who’s Rachel’s dad?!) 

What we didn’t: Just like Nick Young, Kerry made the mistake of not being wholly transparent about her past, leading to Rachel being blindsided when Eleanor & Co dug out the truth. 

 

14. Shang Su Yi played by Lisa Lu

 

 Crazy rich asians shang su yi lisa lu

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: Move aside Eleanor, Su Yi is the ultimate matriarch. Her flowers’ blooming are reason enough for parties, her disparaging comments will make you wilt instantly and her mansion is beyond baller.

What we didn’t: Like many Asian grandmothers, she plays favourites towards her grandsons - in this case, Nick. But with conditions attached, woe betide him if he doesn’t fall in line with family tradition and marry a “good” girl. That’s just a guilt trip we’re not fond of. 

 

15. Michael Teo played by Pierre Png 

 

 Crazy rich asians michael teo pierre png

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: His abs. ‘Nuff said. 

What we didn’t: His accent was so bad - it was as if he couldn’t decide between Queen’s English, Singaporean-accented English or Singlish and settled in a weird limbo land of accents that was just plain distracting. Also, CHEATING on the lovely Astrid and blaming it on her wealth. Victim-shaming, tsk. 

 

16. Alistair Cheng played by Remy Hii

 

 Crazy rich asians alistair cheng remy hii

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: We did like how he (literally) embraced Kitty into his life despite the gossip mongers and naysayers.

What we didn’t: The poor boy is just not a good judge of character - see how fast Kitty dropped him. He also seems to have some secrets - as seen by Oliver’s sway on him during the wedding party. 

 

17. Eddie Cheng played by Ronny Chieng

 

 Crazy rich asians eddie cheng ronny chieng

Image credit: Warner Brothers

What we loved: … I guess his hair is styled well?

What we didn’t: Someone had to say it -  Eddie is annoying. He rudely called Michael a “toyboy”, gets his family to do pretentious poses and infuriates his wife to no end. 

 

Crazy Rich Asians - the all-star cast

 

Maybe you don’t agree with the ranking, think that Peik Lin was crass or that Michael’s abs trumps all. In that case, do leave a comment on who’s your favourite, and why. We promise we won’t throw shade on you like how Eleanor would.

And just in case you’re craving for more of Crazy Rich Asians, read:

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